Attraction and "playing hard to get" are complementary concepts, but not completely overlapping (I recommend reading my article - Can Playing Hard To Get Make You More Attractive?). While a little challenge can add some spark to any relationship (as children we hated playing hide-and-seek with those who hid in plain sight and as adults we quickly lose interest when there is no challenge), using "playing hard to get" as a basis for attraction is like playing on sinking sand.
The people I know who "play hard to get" and follow all kinds of rules about when you're supposed to call after a first date, when you are supposed to say I love you etc. are normally the least happy and seem to be the ones who have the most trouble finding good people and having lasting relationships. But so are the people who chase after people who play hard to get.
If you are in a relationship with someone playing hard to get, here are some tried-and-found-to-be-very-effective positive actions that you can take:
1. Go the way of least resistance - When resistance is the focus, it becomes even more powerful. So stop chasing him/her. If you chase a man or woman, he/she will usually run. If your intention is just to chase and not "catch" him or her, then keep chasing. But if you intention is to finally have this person in your loving arms, there is no point in chasing after him/her only for him/her to keep running. If the person is really into you and he/she realizes nobody is chasing after him/her, he/she will stop running and wait to be "caught" or start the chasing themselves.
I know stopping chasing is hard, because when things are not going the way you'd like them to go, it's easy to panic or want to act in some way to "force" it to happen. Many of us spin our wheels mentally, trying to force an outcome. But the beauty of the law of attraction is that we don't have to make things happen, we simply allow them to happen. So let go off the "how" and "when" and simply relax and allow the attraction process to unfold exactly as it will.
2. Inspire attraction not impose it - Attraction is much less concerned with breaking down resistance as it is with producing good feelings, touching deeper emotions and creating a shared bond (sense of kinship). Whatever the other person believes to be a "barrier' to having a relationship with you, he/she likely has reasons that make sense, at least to him/her. Trying to dismiss, shoot down or override his/her reasons only creates more tension and more resistance. Your explaining, arguing and convincing will not work because you are using logical solutions to an emotional need. People don't fall in love for logical reasons. They fall in love because of the emotions and then justify their decision logically.
Rather than trying to "break down" their resistance, you'll achieve more and faster by listening to his/her thoughts (words) and emotions (feelings). Their words and behaviours will often reveal the "emotional" information you need to move forward.
3. Just enjoy them - It can be hard to enjoy the other person when he or she is not responding the way you want him/her to be responding. But the more you appreciate whatever degree of attraction there is between the two of you (right -now-as-it-is), the more easily things seem to flow and the more attraction you are likely to create.
If you find yourself always chasing after men and women who are playing hard to get, then you seriously need to question your own emotional programming.
by Christine AkitengLabels: love, relationship, relationship advice, relationship help, relationship issues |
