| Wednesday, March 14, 2007 |
| If He/She Is Playing Hard To Get - Try A Different Approach |
Attraction and "playing hard to get" are complementary concepts, but not completely overlapping (I recommend reading my article - Can Playing Hard To Get Make You More Attractive?). While a little challenge can add some spark to any relationship (as children we hated playing hide-and-seek with those who hid in plain sight and as adults we quickly lose interest when there is no challenge), using "playing hard to get" as a basis for attraction is like playing on sinking sand.
The people I know who "play hard to get" and follow all kinds of rules about when you're supposed to call after a first date, when you are supposed to say I love you etc. are normally the least happy and seem to be the ones who have the most trouble finding good people and having lasting relationships. But so are the people who chase after people who play hard to get.
If you are in a relationship with someone playing hard to get, here are some tried-and-found-to-be-very-effective positive actions that you can take:
1. Go the way of least resistance - When resistance is the focus, it becomes even more powerful. So stop chasing him/her. If you chase a man or woman, he/she will usually run. If your intention is just to chase and not "catch" him or her, then keep chasing. But if you intention is to finally have this person in your loving arms, there is no point in chasing after him/her only for him/her to keep running. If the person is really into you and he/she realizes nobody is chasing after him/her, he/she will stop running and wait to be "caught" or start the chasing themselves.
I know stopping chasing is hard, because when things are not going the way you'd like them to go, it's easy to panic or want to act in some way to "force" it to happen. Many of us spin our wheels mentally, trying to force an outcome. But the beauty of the law of attraction is that we don't have to make things happen, we simply allow them to happen. So let go off the "how" and "when" and simply relax and allow the attraction process to unfold exactly as it will.
2. Inspire attraction not impose it - Attraction is much less concerned with breaking down resistance as it is with producing good feelings, touching deeper emotions and creating a shared bond (sense of kinship). Whatever the other person believes to be a "barrier' to having a relationship with you, he/she likely has reasons that make sense, at least to him/her. Trying to dismiss, shoot down or override his/her reasons only creates more tension and more resistance. Your explaining, arguing and convincing will not work because you are using logical solutions to an emotional need. People don't fall in love for logical reasons. They fall in love because of the emotions and then justify their decision logically.
Rather than trying to "break down" their resistance, you'll achieve more and faster by listening to his/her thoughts (words) and emotions (feelings). Their words and behaviours will often reveal the "emotional" information you need to move forward.
3. Just enjoy them - It can be hard to enjoy the other person when he or she is not responding the way you want him/her to be responding. But the more you appreciate whatever degree of attraction there is between the two of you (right -now-as-it-is), the more easily things seem to flow and the more attraction you are likely to create.
If you find yourself always chasing after men and women who are playing hard to get, then you seriously need to question your own emotional programming.
by Christine AkitengLabels: love, relationship, relationship advice, relationship help, relationship issues |
posted by Norhayati @ 6:29 PM  |
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| Sunday, March 11, 2007 |
| For Women – 25 Clues To Know You’re Really In Love |
Still confused with your feeling? Can’t sleep at night, thinking about him but still can’t find the reason. Are you really in love or is it just a little crush? Falling in love is one of life’s greatest gift. But ironically, you often don’t know that happened until it’s too late. You’re afraid to know that what you feel inside is love – afraid to disgorge it to him – and afraid you’re going to be rejected by him. But why you have to deny your own feelings and let yourself feel the painful tightness around your chest. You felt sick when he flirts with another woman, and you wonder why your heart beat very, very fast: Your heart was broken: Only then you realize that somewhere, at sometime, you fell in love with him without knowing it. Did you ever felt this feeling before?
But why wait for a broken heart? Act before it’s too late. Being in love is something too beautiful to be ignorant about. Don’t let your love elapse by times, grab it when there’s still an opportunity, maybe he’s the one to live with you forever. Here are some clues to see if you’ve been struck by Cupid’s arrow!
LOVE #1 You become alert to his favorites
His favorite’s singer to his favorite’s football player all keeps in your mind. When he say he's really crazy about that singer, without thinking about other things you buy all the CD’s collection for him. You’re trying to listen to his songs even though you never like it. Even you never watch football match, you watch his favorites football team with hope one day you can share the same interest with him.
LOVE #2 You look for his horoscope
Of course, you’re looking for the love part. Does his star match to yours or not, or does Venus coming into orbit around his star sign anytime soon? You want to know if love is on the cards for him, is your star implicated in some way? Although you know nothing much you can hope from the zodiac sign, at least some of the match between the two of you will make you feeling more comfortable.
LOVE #3 All his jokes become funny to you
You laugh if he laughs: No matter whether his story funny or not, you still laugh as long as you can see smiles on his face. He really can do no wrong. Even his most moronic, tasteless one-liners about faces and flatulence seem to be the wittiest gags you’ve ever heard.
LOVE #4 You take a very long time to write him an SMS/email
You over worried if your words may hurt his feelings and you want to make sure you get that casual, off-hand tone just right. No mistakes and you want the best words reaching him – whether you should put smiley or not – so much things to consider, no wonder you’re having trouble sleeping.
LOVE #5 You feel weird if you don’t see or talk to him for a long time
Whether you realize it or not, you getting nerves to have conversation with him after a long weekends. You getting blur sometimes looking for words to say. All in your mind is hope to spend more time with him and looking for other chances to plans something for both of you. So, now times is very important to you.
LOVE #6 You become jealous for no reason
You hate every girl who talks to him. Even when the cashier at the bookstore gave him a cheeky smile, you call her sluts. …More to that, you can’t stand up to when other girls ask him to watch a movie. …well, why are your get jealous?
LOVE #7 You lose your appetite when he didn’t reply your SMS/call
The whole day and night you think why he didn’t replied you. So many though on your mind, and all of them mostly about bad things: What did I do wrong? Or, Did he angry with me? You can’t think logically because you’re too worried and feeling edgy so everything getting musky. It is not because you don’t have an appetite but because your mind can’t think about other thing except wondering why he didn’t call you back.
LOVE #8 You google him
You try every way to find any information about him to know more about him. Surf an internet looking for his name - and lucky you if you can find something about him. Hopefully his name as famous as Donald Trump so easier for you to find anything remotely related to your man online . Failing which, you log on to the website of the company he works.
LOVE #9 No one else can rock your boat anymore
Either Leonardo Dicaprio or Orlando Bloom, both can’t attract your interest anymore. Did you grown up girl? Or your heart just stolen by someone else; one beautiful ordinary people that make your life rockin’ everyday.
LOVE #10 Girlfriends are not your priority
No more Friday night or girl’s weekend anymore. All you do is sitting down at home waiting for his call to bring you out. You just want to make sure when he’s call, you’re free and ready to have a date any time, so just for him you turn down your gal pal’s invitation for some girlie time together. Well, hopefully he calls you. And why don’t you call him?
LOVE #11 Your body is a prime concern
You start take care of your weight, your body curve, and your cup size, don’t you? You heard that men are attracted to sexy women especially the one with great body and nice breast? What do you think girl? Research says that men like breast because it soft, comforting, curvy, erotic. It symbolizes every female. So, what’s wrong with you wanting to be as female as possible?
LOVE #12 You worry about your mobile phone reception
You try to avoid go to places where your phone can’t be reach. Every way you go, you check your phone to make sure there is at least one receptionist bar. Afraid that you will miss his call, the call you’ve been waiting for all the time.
LOVE #13 You're suddenly interested with football
What’s EPL? Maybe before this you never care what it is, but not now. You start to find something more about this: start turning to the back page of the newspapers and watching sports news to see what’s going on in the English Premier League and it’s not just because David Beckham.
LOVE #14 You start learn how to cook
Every woman that fall in love, always shows their interest in cooking. Who know, you might need to cook something up for a visiting guest…an important visiting guest. So, you can show him you have ability to have a family – good mother and perfect wife.
LOVE #15 You read articles like this one in my blog
If you looking for articles like this and eager to read it, means that you already suspect you might be in love. You need an expert doctor to help you diagnosis what actually happen to you. Well, now you know what’s your feeling tell you don’t wait any longer. Chase for your dream guy while it’s not too late.
LOVE #16 You start dreaming about having a baby with him
No wonder lately you really like baby. Only women in love and ready to have a family and future will have a feeling to have their own baby and of course with their love one.
LOVE #17 Romantic comedies have always been your first choices
You conquer all romantic comedy dramas on TV, buy new romantic DVD’s and go watching romantic movies alone because all your friends already know it must be romantic movies again and they don’t want to miss their chances to watch another type of movie again and again. Not enough with that, you look for old DVD’s which more dramatics and romantic as long as it has a happy lovely ending and you don’t care watching it for many times.
LOVE #18 You always grab any opportunities to take a photo with him
Any moment, or at any occasions – at parties, shopping malls or a dinner, you always trying to find an excuse to get into a shot with him…alone. And if there’s no camera, well, a camera phone will do just as nicely – as long as you got his pictures standing besides you.
LOVE #19 You won’t go anywhere during weekends
Everyone start to plan their weekends but you wonder what you’re going to do. Of course, you think about to spend some times with him. You even couldn’t sleep on lazy Sundays because you’re too worry he’s going to call you or not. It seems like you waiting for some Christmas gift from Santa. Don’t you?
LOVE #20 You doodle his name all over
When you hold a pen and paper, your hand unconsciously doodle his name, sometimes with little floating hearts around it. And is that your name that you’re doodling beside his? Any doctor will take this as a sure-fire symptom of love sickness.
LOVE #21 Shopping times…and end up in the men’s aisle
While you shop for your lipstick, suddenly your head turn to men’s section – and you automatically work towards to the sections and start checking out for tie, t-shirt, cap and other men accessories. Before long, you’re trying to match his outfits to yours.
LOVE #22 You become a defender to him
When you have conversation with your friends and he’s not around, you bring his name to become a main topic. And when anyone of your friends put him down, you jump to his defence. Obviously, he’s important to you and only good things you want to hear about him.
LOVE #23 He's your idol
You admire him more than anyone else: his styles, how he talks to others and the way him playing guitar. You want to intimate everything about him – music, movies, clothes, food, sports…and whatever you can see from him. He likes a movie star to you and everything about him is special. If he like plays a piano, so you try to take lessons especially from him. You felt happy when you can involve in something he likes.
LOVE #24 You become a romantic person
From the words you wrote to the way you talk to him, there’s sign of flirting. And of course you try to cover so it doesn’t look too obvious but deep inside you heart you hope that he’s been able to read between the lines. Don’t worry girl, be frank and he will see how deep is your love.
LOVE #25 His little sister makes you jealous
Well, something really serious happen here. How come? If this is not enough of a clue that you’re in love, what is? Take your time, if you have more than half of the clues, follow your heart and act before he's pounce by another women.
By Liliana Weston
OTHER RELATED TOPICS :
How to Make a Man Feel Loved
10 Things Never to Say to A GuyLabels: love, love hints, relationship, relationship advice, relationship issues |
| posted by Norhayati @ 7:35 AM |
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